Not really sure about what the moral of this entry is...
I was equally not really sure about what to title this blog entry, so I left it to simply Old.
Three stories in chronological order, by three different people. My story is called Mami. Each of them told from the perspective of a person from the hood with different degrees of "a past" in said hood. We have all moved on to a better life; mind, body, and soul. Oh! And we're all Old.
Good Samaritan - 1999 (??)
It was late at night (late late) and on a recent visit home to Bed-Stuy Brooklyn, 30ish year old K figured she'd do a walk/run home to her Mom's house. At the tail end of her work-out she spots a small group of young girls walking as well. In her mind, she figured these young innocents were in a hurry to get home and so naturally K's maternal instinct kicked in. She decided to start walking next to them keeping pace with their strides so that they would feel safer (seriously people). Oblivious to their stares (and rude observations about the @#$!%* following them), she stayed true to her mission until she saw the glimmer of a bottle whose trajectory was coincidentally pointed in her direction. Fortunately for her it missed, and she came to her senses. So she left her post as Guardian and considered ending her walk/run with a run for one more block. But just before she was about to come out of the blocks, she realized that those same girls would chase her down (like a pack typically would after it's prey) and decided that a nice late night stroll to her Mom's house was a better idea...
O.G. (2009)
Walking home late from a party, Dap was spotted by some young thugs with nuthin better to do. Without getting into details, it is no exaggeration and accurate to state that Dap was a seriously bad mofo back in the day...(nuff said). So needless to say, he knew these dudes were about to start some shit. He heard one say to his dude "Yo!.. hole up man. That dude is an O.G.!!!" Another replies "So!" They all proceed to chase Dap's ass for a number of blocks. I can't remember if they caught up to him and whether he had to duke it out or not.
Mami (Aug 30, 2009)
So this happened to me this weekend...
My friend Joe had his 33rd bday bash at Pop Burger in the Meat Packing District this year. Good times were had by all. Just before leaving, I went down to use the ladies room and I use this term 'ladies" lightly. It was the typical scene downstairs in the restroom hallway area; but seedier and grimier then I expected. No biggie. Been there; done that. As I proceed to push open the door to the ladies room, I felt some resistance on the other side and then this young Latino dude sticks his head out. Of course I'm like "Wassup with this?" Mainly because I have a habit of entering men's bathrooms by accident (heh heh) and also because he was hesitating letting me in.
When he finally allows me in, I see there's another young guy and girl in there. The new guy is having a fit about my comment and his friends are trying to calm him down...meanwhile explaining to me that they're gay and it's ok, I can use the bathroom...I'm nonplussed and bored. All I wanna do is get in and get out. As I walk further in, I notice another young girl sitting on the floor in one of the stalls; head in the bowl barfing her brains out. So I innocently state that I don't care what they are and I can plainly see that they're helping their friend while she barfs her brains out.
Well that sets off both new guy and barfin girl...they're verbally slammin me (him while primping in the mirror and her while she continues to barf) as the other two tell them to stop yelling at me. Remarkably, I'm still cool but I can feel the adrenaline creeping up my neck and as I make my way (finally) into the next stall, I start making preparations to come out swingin' if I had to. So I powder my nose (love that term), and step out of the stall ready for my scene from Warriors to begin...I get total silence; not a peep. New guy is all of a sudden demure and moves from his post at the sink and mirror and gives me space to wash my hands and even turns on the hand dryer for me. I'm at a lost for words...temporarily.
Most sensible people would have walked out and given thanks to whatever God they worship. And while I am "mostly sensible", this night I pushed the envelope and while drying my hands, I began to lecture new guy. What I said didn't matter. What did matter, however was his reaction. Total respect with a bit of "Yes Mami" here and "Yes Mami" there for good measure. The others were completely silent and as I exited, I could still feel the adrenaline in my heart, ears and throat and it stayed there pumping all of the way out of Pop Burger, across 14th St, and down into the A train station.
That's right I still take the subway late at night. Cuz I'm a New Yorker and that's how I roll...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
My Near-Death Experiences
Yes, I do have a flair for the over-dramatic...but this is not one of those moments. For this blog entry, I chose to provide a list with brief (hmmm..ok ok I'll try) descriptions.
What prompted me to even consider writing this? An episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations - the one about Thailand. This dude typically runs into questionable situations but nothing seemed to go right during the taping of this specific show and it made me think about the few times I've run into some sketchy episodes myself. So here are my Top 4 life-threatening stories...
#4 Asthma Attack in the Ghetto - I suffered from this disease as a young child and for as long as I could remember. Back in the day, if you weren't suffering from a gun-shot wound or a heart attack, you had to wait in the emergency room for literally hours (no over dramatization here). My Mom and I would sit and sit and sit until we were called and usually by that time, I was in such bad shape, I had to be admitted. Eventually the protocols changed (unfortunately due to various asthma-related deaths across the city) and I was taken in right away, but I did come pretty close to dying before that.
#3 Jamaica: Exact Location Unknown - Briefly, three young women, no ID, in a stranger's truck with some...strangers, driving up some mountains, destination: some uknown beach. There was a party. We miraculously made it back to the hotel in one piece...unharmed of course, but I think about that time often and how stupid we were...There but for the grace of God.
#2 Childbirth - Fetal distress resulting in an emergency c-section. The baby was absolutely fine but I had complications; infection, high-blood pressure, etc. Hospital stay of two weeks...
#1 Thailand - Ironically I had no reaction to the food, but instead I went into anaphylactic shock by ingesting...Alka-Seltzer. I kinda knew I was allergic to aspirin, but who knew it was the first ingredient in an antacid for God's sake! Long story short, face-swells, eyes closing, throat closing, called the hotel Dr (THANK GOD!). He runs up to the room and knocks on the door. By now, I am unable to speak and crawl to the door, turn the knob and as I attempt to speak, he waves me off; nurse in tow with some sort of contraption. Right away he instructs me to throw up...NO PROBLEM! way ahead of you buddy! Meanwhile he's prepping all sorts of syringes. I have no idea what's in them, and frankly I don't give a damn. Whatever it was, it made me live to see another day...
So that's my top 4 and I hope I never have another one to add to the list...
What prompted me to even consider writing this? An episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations - the one about Thailand. This dude typically runs into questionable situations but nothing seemed to go right during the taping of this specific show and it made me think about the few times I've run into some sketchy episodes myself. So here are my Top 4 life-threatening stories...
#4 Asthma Attack in the Ghetto - I suffered from this disease as a young child and for as long as I could remember. Back in the day, if you weren't suffering from a gun-shot wound or a heart attack, you had to wait in the emergency room for literally hours (no over dramatization here). My Mom and I would sit and sit and sit until we were called and usually by that time, I was in such bad shape, I had to be admitted. Eventually the protocols changed (unfortunately due to various asthma-related deaths across the city) and I was taken in right away, but I did come pretty close to dying before that.
#3 Jamaica: Exact Location Unknown - Briefly, three young women, no ID, in a stranger's truck with some...strangers, driving up some mountains, destination: some uknown beach. There was a party. We miraculously made it back to the hotel in one piece...unharmed of course, but I think about that time often and how stupid we were...There but for the grace of God.
#2 Childbirth - Fetal distress resulting in an emergency c-section. The baby was absolutely fine but I had complications; infection, high-blood pressure, etc. Hospital stay of two weeks...
#1 Thailand - Ironically I had no reaction to the food, but instead I went into anaphylactic shock by ingesting...Alka-Seltzer. I kinda knew I was allergic to aspirin, but who knew it was the first ingredient in an antacid for God's sake! Long story short, face-swells, eyes closing, throat closing, called the hotel Dr (THANK GOD!). He runs up to the room and knocks on the door. By now, I am unable to speak and crawl to the door, turn the knob and as I attempt to speak, he waves me off; nurse in tow with some sort of contraption. Right away he instructs me to throw up...NO PROBLEM! way ahead of you buddy! Meanwhile he's prepping all sorts of syringes. I have no idea what's in them, and frankly I don't give a damn. Whatever it was, it made me live to see another day...
So that's my top 4 and I hope I never have another one to add to the list...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Whateva-u-got WholeWheat Bread Pudding
Pre-heat your oven to about 350.
Tear up that whole wheat bread you got left in several different bags in the fridge.
I put that in a bowl with some frozen fruit mix I had in the freezer.
In another bowl mix some eggs (i dunno how many. i don't measure nuthin), milk, melted butter, brown sugar, pure maple syrup (if you grab some pancake syrup, ima kick yo ass), and some kinda extract (i had some almond and banana in my pantry..hehe pantry). OH! and some cina..ciman..cinnamon.
Pour that mixture over the bread and fruit, and let that sucka soak up alla dat liquid (where'd I get this weird accent?)
Let it sit until most of the liquid is gone.
Pour mixture into a loaf pan or mini loaf pans...whateva you got.
DON'T FORGET TO SPRAY THE PAN!!
Put in the oven and bake for...until you can smell something good. Go check on it. Is it all puffed up and goldenish on top??
Then it's done!
Enjoy!
Tear up that whole wheat bread you got left in several different bags in the fridge.
I put that in a bowl with some frozen fruit mix I had in the freezer.
In another bowl mix some eggs (i dunno how many. i don't measure nuthin), milk, melted butter, brown sugar, pure maple syrup (if you grab some pancake syrup, ima kick yo ass), and some kinda extract (i had some almond and banana in my pantry..hehe pantry). OH! and some cina..ciman..cinnamon.
Pour that mixture over the bread and fruit, and let that sucka soak up alla dat liquid (where'd I get this weird accent?)
Let it sit until most of the liquid is gone.
Pour mixture into a loaf pan or mini loaf pans...whateva you got.
DON'T FORGET TO SPRAY THE PAN!!
Put in the oven and bake for...until you can smell something good. Go check on it. Is it all puffed up and goldenish on top??
Then it's done!
Enjoy!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Why Twitter???
A few folks have been inquiring about my more recent focused energy on Twitter and the whole world of Twits, Tweets, Followers, Friends, Re-Tweets, Tweepularity, and so on (the list of terms is really endless and totally up to the imagination of the users in this burgeoning community).
Disclaimer time...I am not an expert. I am still learning but remarkably more advanced than some of my compatriots out there in the world. So me being "little miss helpful", I thought I'd help out those of you who are still wondering about whether you should venture into Twitterdom (Twitterland, The Twitty, Twitterworld...I told you it could be endless).
For most people who have some experience in the world of social networking, the first inclination is to compare Twitter to Facebook. I started off making this comparison as well and I usually explained it by saying that in Facebook I usually update my status once or twice a day, but with Twitter, I update what I'm thinking or feeling ALL day; what I was eating, where I was headed (into the kitchen, upstairs for bed, taking a shower, etc), how I was feeling, my political views (hahahahaha), or anything else that came to mind.
This explanation was usually met with blank stares or if in writing; no response at all.
Then I decided to not look at HOW I was using Twitter, but WHY. In my role as The Katalist, making connections is my number 1 objective. In most social networking environments, one can limit their network to "friends" or "friends of friends" (with some exceptions) to the nth degree, but eventually you can max out due to personal or even practical reasons. It makes obvious sense then, that if you're using these social networks to keep in touch with family and friends, you'd be pretty much content to stay exclusively loyal to the Myspaces and Facebooks of this environment.
But what if you want your voice to be heard over a wider network? What if you have ideas, thoughts or content you'd like to share with a multitude of people around the world? HOW (ok this is where HOW makes sense) would you make this happen? You don't have to be a great thinker, writer, dreamer or philosopher to have this desire. Deep down even introverts may have a question for the masses.
Or, what if you're a harmless voyeur of people or information? What is your favorite celebrity thinking about today? What are the latest trend topics of the moment? What is the cast of my favorite Broadway musical HAIR doing today? These are the questions that can be answered by using Twitter.
For example...
I have a blog (duh), which means I have an obvious inclination to be heard. I'd like for people to read my blog. I could wait for my friends to forward it to their friends and so on and so on (yes, yes, just like the Suave(??) shampoo commercial), but that could take forever because 1. I'm tired of guilting them into reading it and 2. After they read it, I don't think they know to automatically forward the link to others. So what's a girl (eh eh careful now, I'm still young enough...) like me to do, to get my word heard?? This is where Twitter comes in. Unlike Facebook, which limits the range of my message reach to those who I know (I am pleased to say that I know about 97% of my 500+ FB friends personally) with the hopes that they will share my thoughts with others, Twitter exposes me to a much wider network of like minded people.
You don't have to be a blogger however to have Twittappeal (see??? endless). One day, you may have a cause, opinion, or even a simple question. You can call up each and every personal friend you have, post it to your Facebook profile OR you could Tweet it to the masses; your choice, your options. One is not fundamentally better than the other.
To date, I have almost 2,300 followers and it's growing every day. These are people who have said "I want to know what this chick has to say." To date, I almost found out by accident who won the match between Safin and this new kid Ouanna at the French Open (I am dangerously behind in my DVR recordings). To date, I have interacted with new friends across the seas who have commented on my recent battle with a crazy restaurant owner. And last but not least, I have used my "connections" to expose "Tweeple" to one another in an easier environment to do so than Facebook.
Now don't get me wrong. I have not turned my back on Facebook. I still love it and use it to check out new events, give birthday shout-outs and touch base with my peeps. But now with Twitter added to the mix, I have the world at my fingertips...quite literally. It's exciting and scary at the same time. I decided against writing a mini-tutorial here, but one piece of advice I will give anyone reading this, is that if you tweet about something, make sure it's something you wouldn't think to take back. I no longer know everyone who's following me (unlike 97%of my Facebook peeps) so I try to keep my posts as safe or conservative as I can. Maybe the next generation of Twitter should be Anonytwit (you saw it here first people!!).
Still lost? Still undecided?? I really like the Twitter Tutorial (Twitorial?) found below:
Have fun yall and if you decide not to go with it...no biggie! It's ok, there will be some new social network application thingy to baffle us all again in a few months anyway. Stay Tuned!
Ciao, Ciao, Ciao
The Katalist
www.twitter.com/thekatalist
Disclaimer time...I am not an expert. I am still learning but remarkably more advanced than some of my compatriots out there in the world. So me being "little miss helpful", I thought I'd help out those of you who are still wondering about whether you should venture into Twitterdom (Twitterland, The Twitty, Twitterworld...I told you it could be endless).
For most people who have some experience in the world of social networking, the first inclination is to compare Twitter to Facebook. I started off making this comparison as well and I usually explained it by saying that in Facebook I usually update my status once or twice a day, but with Twitter, I update what I'm thinking or feeling ALL day; what I was eating, where I was headed (into the kitchen, upstairs for bed, taking a shower, etc), how I was feeling, my political views (hahahahaha), or anything else that came to mind.
This explanation was usually met with blank stares or if in writing; no response at all.
Then I decided to not look at HOW I was using Twitter, but WHY. In my role as The Katalist, making connections is my number 1 objective. In most social networking environments, one can limit their network to "friends" or "friends of friends" (with some exceptions) to the nth degree, but eventually you can max out due to personal or even practical reasons. It makes obvious sense then, that if you're using these social networks to keep in touch with family and friends, you'd be pretty much content to stay exclusively loyal to the Myspaces and Facebooks of this environment.
But what if you want your voice to be heard over a wider network? What if you have ideas, thoughts or content you'd like to share with a multitude of people around the world? HOW (ok this is where HOW makes sense) would you make this happen? You don't have to be a great thinker, writer, dreamer or philosopher to have this desire. Deep down even introverts may have a question for the masses.
Or, what if you're a harmless voyeur of people or information? What is your favorite celebrity thinking about today? What are the latest trend topics of the moment? What is the cast of my favorite Broadway musical HAIR doing today? These are the questions that can be answered by using Twitter.
For example...
I have a blog (duh), which means I have an obvious inclination to be heard. I'd like for people to read my blog. I could wait for my friends to forward it to their friends and so on and so on (yes, yes, just like the Suave(??) shampoo commercial), but that could take forever because 1. I'm tired of guilting them into reading it and 2. After they read it, I don't think they know to automatically forward the link to others. So what's a girl (eh eh careful now, I'm still young enough...) like me to do, to get my word heard?? This is where Twitter comes in. Unlike Facebook, which limits the range of my message reach to those who I know (I am pleased to say that I know about 97% of my 500+ FB friends personally) with the hopes that they will share my thoughts with others, Twitter exposes me to a much wider network of like minded people.
You don't have to be a blogger however to have Twittappeal (see??? endless). One day, you may have a cause, opinion, or even a simple question. You can call up each and every personal friend you have, post it to your Facebook profile OR you could Tweet it to the masses; your choice, your options. One is not fundamentally better than the other.
To date, I have almost 2,300 followers and it's growing every day. These are people who have said "I want to know what this chick has to say." To date, I almost found out by accident who won the match between Safin and this new kid Ouanna at the French Open (I am dangerously behind in my DVR recordings). To date, I have interacted with new friends across the seas who have commented on my recent battle with a crazy restaurant owner. And last but not least, I have used my "connections" to expose "Tweeple" to one another in an easier environment to do so than Facebook.
Now don't get me wrong. I have not turned my back on Facebook. I still love it and use it to check out new events, give birthday shout-outs and touch base with my peeps. But now with Twitter added to the mix, I have the world at my fingertips...quite literally. It's exciting and scary at the same time. I decided against writing a mini-tutorial here, but one piece of advice I will give anyone reading this, is that if you tweet about something, make sure it's something you wouldn't think to take back. I no longer know everyone who's following me (unlike 97%of my Facebook peeps) so I try to keep my posts as safe or conservative as I can. Maybe the next generation of Twitter should be Anonytwit (you saw it here first people!!).
Still lost? Still undecided?? I really like the Twitter Tutorial (Twitorial?) found below:
Have fun yall and if you decide not to go with it...no biggie! It's ok, there will be some new social network application thingy to baffle us all again in a few months anyway. Stay Tuned!
Ciao, Ciao, Ciao
The Katalist
www.twitter.com/thekatalist
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tillman's Response to TheKatalist Blog
Hello My Peeps,
Original Post
First, I'd like to thank all of you who supported by last blog entry. The blog along with your comments and letters to the owner obviously struck a nerve.
When I crafted the original blog, I sincerely meant it when I wrote that I didn't desire an apology. And true to form, the owner's response to the copy I sent him, is anything but one.
I've included the link to the original blog above.
Below is his response. It's too early in the game for me to respond, but I thought I'd use your feedback as fuel...
"Hello
I just received this email. And I would like the opportunity to ask you a few questions. Hopefully you will have the courage to post these questions and your responses
1) Can you please define racism ?
2) How does racism manifest itself?
3)have you been to Tillman’s
4) if the answer is yes can you answer the following questions with percentage points and race-what is the demographic make up of Tillman’s Management-what is the demographic make up of Tillman’s clientele
5) what is the demographic make up of Manhattan ( the latest census could help you with that) I pose you these questions because in order for me to even address your allegations, I have to assess your mental acuity as well as enlightenment. Unfortunately, the internet offers both enlightened and ignorant people an equal platform. So you’re free to write and make whatever ignorant statements you want without ever having to publicly defend them against a more intelligent and enlightened person. Racism is one of our nations most pervasive problems. It must be fought at every level. This fight can not be undermined by a frivolous use of such a emotional word.
To accuse an establishment that
a) Is owned by a black person
b) An establishment that pays homage and celebrates Harlem, jazz music, soul, afro-Cuban, under ground hip hop etc..
c) Whose management team is predominantly black
d) Whose clientele is overwhelmingly black Is just plain laughably stupid.
The fact that your conclusion that you were denied entry is solely because of race is more a reflection of your ignorance and inability to think beyond the stale and tired “poor me” mindset that enslaves our black community. If “racism” were the answer…how do you explain the fact that an overwhelming majority of the clientele and staff is black? Please answer that. I wasn’t there that night. So I can not say for sure why you were denied entry. Maybe it was due to stupidity of the doorman…that’s possible and if that was it I sincerely apologize. Or perhaps my doorman assumed from your approach to the door that you’re an unenlightened ignorant person and from the tone of your email it appears he was correct. There could be a million stupid reasons or good reasons that he didn’t let you in and as I said before I can say because I wasn’t there. But there is no doubt racism wasn’t it. It makes no sense that an establishment whose clientele is predominantly black and also predominantly female, I might add, and is empty as you claim would not let three, as you said good looking women in. Maybe ignorant or easily conned people will buy your reasoning. But anyone who’s been to Tillman’s as well as savvy New Yorkers will draw their own conclusions….I’ll bet anything racism won’t be it… I doubt you’ll have the courage to post this. But in the future..realize that anonymity is for cowards. I stand behind my statements and while my establishment isn’t perfect I’m quite proud of how it celebrates Black America and it’s history like no other place in Manhattan.
Lesly Bernard
Tillman’s"
Original Post
First, I'd like to thank all of you who supported by last blog entry. The blog along with your comments and letters to the owner obviously struck a nerve.
When I crafted the original blog, I sincerely meant it when I wrote that I didn't desire an apology. And true to form, the owner's response to the copy I sent him, is anything but one.
I've included the link to the original blog above.
Below is his response. It's too early in the game for me to respond, but I thought I'd use your feedback as fuel...
"Hello
I just received this email. And I would like the opportunity to ask you a few questions. Hopefully you will have the courage to post these questions and your responses
1) Can you please define racism ?
2) How does racism manifest itself?
3)have you been to Tillman’s
4) if the answer is yes can you answer the following questions with percentage points and race-what is the demographic make up of Tillman’s Management-what is the demographic make up of Tillman’s clientele
5) what is the demographic make up of Manhattan ( the latest census could help you with that) I pose you these questions because in order for me to even address your allegations, I have to assess your mental acuity as well as enlightenment. Unfortunately, the internet offers both enlightened and ignorant people an equal platform. So you’re free to write and make whatever ignorant statements you want without ever having to publicly defend them against a more intelligent and enlightened person. Racism is one of our nations most pervasive problems. It must be fought at every level. This fight can not be undermined by a frivolous use of such a emotional word.
To accuse an establishment that
a) Is owned by a black person
b) An establishment that pays homage and celebrates Harlem, jazz music, soul, afro-Cuban, under ground hip hop etc..
c) Whose management team is predominantly black
d) Whose clientele is overwhelmingly black Is just plain laughably stupid.
The fact that your conclusion that you were denied entry is solely because of race is more a reflection of your ignorance and inability to think beyond the stale and tired “poor me” mindset that enslaves our black community. If “racism” were the answer…how do you explain the fact that an overwhelming majority of the clientele and staff is black? Please answer that. I wasn’t there that night. So I can not say for sure why you were denied entry. Maybe it was due to stupidity of the doorman…that’s possible and if that was it I sincerely apologize. Or perhaps my doorman assumed from your approach to the door that you’re an unenlightened ignorant person and from the tone of your email it appears he was correct. There could be a million stupid reasons or good reasons that he didn’t let you in and as I said before I can say because I wasn’t there. But there is no doubt racism wasn’t it. It makes no sense that an establishment whose clientele is predominantly black and also predominantly female, I might add, and is empty as you claim would not let three, as you said good looking women in. Maybe ignorant or easily conned people will buy your reasoning. But anyone who’s been to Tillman’s as well as savvy New Yorkers will draw their own conclusions….I’ll bet anything racism won’t be it… I doubt you’ll have the courage to post this. But in the future..realize that anonymity is for cowards. I stand behind my statements and while my establishment isn’t perfect I’m quite proud of how it celebrates Black America and it’s history like no other place in Manhattan.
Lesly Bernard
Tillman’s"
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tillman's Bar and Lounge's Selective (aka Racist) Door Policy
On Saturday night two friends and I went out for a late night hang. In search of a place where we could chill out and catch-up, I suggested Tillman's Bar and Lounge for no other reason than the fact that it was close to our meeting point and I knew they would be open late. While friend number one searched for parking I got out and asked the bouncer a few basic questions that progressed (or digressed actually) like this:
Q - Can we park on this block after 1(AM)?
A - No. They ticket and tow.
Q - How late is the kitchen open?
A - 2AM, but we're only accepting reservations right now.
Q - Reservations? Er so you mean there is no room at the bar either?
A - No only reservations for the bar too...
Q - So basically your saying we can't get in huh?
A - That's right.
Initially, I wasn't THAT taken aback by the downward spiral of this conversation. I figured the place was packed; unusual yes in these times, but hey you never know. So I tried unsuccessfully to reach my other friend by cell so she wouldn't waste her time searching for a spot but she eventually came strolling up and after hearing that they wouldn't take us, she decided to make a second attempt. At just that same moment, the hostess came out and my friend asked her instead about the availability and contrary to my exchange with the bouncer, she welcomed us all in with a smile.
Hmmmmmm.
So we enter the vestibule; not forgetting to give the bouncer a dirty look as we stepped inside. We walk through the short dark hall and right before we pull back the the heavy drapes to enter the establishment, I started preparing for my push through the crowd only to find...Tada! The place was empty!! Ok, OK they had a few bar stools and tables filled, but in no way filled to capacity. You know what I did? I left it alone...I figured I would make a small complaint to the manager on my way out and chalk the incident up to a misunderstanding or misjudgement on the part of the bouncer.
We ate. We drank. We were merry.
Upon leaving we found the manager. I described what had happened and asked him for an explanation. Here's what he had to say (paraphrased of course):
No denial. No apology.
My reaction?? I posed this question to myself:
WWOD? What Would Obama Do? (I borrowed this phrase from and give full credit to my best friend Kemba for this one).
Well I really don't know what he would do but the question at least calmed me down enough to keep it moving. Knowing plenty of bouncers and club owners personally, I pretty much know the rules of the velvet rope; no sneakers, no single men, no drunk people and since none of these applied to us, I could only assume that the folks over at Tillman's seem to have found a new one; The "No damn reason at all except for the bouncers' own prejudice and ignorance" policy.
In this day and age; during a time when most restaurants are going under, Tillman's has taken it upon themselves to hold tight to some randomly subjective velvet rope code that only they can decipher.
If one chooses to spend their money wisely (my thanks to AC for the drinks btw) then, I think we too as patrons should practice a variation on Tillman's policy of: Being Selective
I hope you too will join me in Being Selective by "selecting" some other place and NOT Tillman's when making future plans for a night out in NYC.
Ciao for now...
The Katalist
Epilogue - I just got off the phone with my homegurl that was with me that night (I wanted to fact-check what I described above) and she got me all fired up again about what went down only two nights ago. This is MY blog DAMMIT and if I can't write about what I'm thinkin' then WTF! Now for the real deal about all the thoughts I had regarding this incident:
Tillman's Bar and Lounge is a racist Black-owned establishment...That's right I'm taking it there. And for those of you who don't know me...I'M BLACK! and I looked DAMN GOOD that night as did my two friends. So why in the world did this bouncer screen us; no! a better term would be PROFILE us as a "DO NOT ALLOW"?
Believe it or not, I don't have many personal accounts of being a victim of blatant racial discrimination...knowingly anyway. I got a few - security following me in a department store, poor service in a restaurant, job application rejections and not being able to catch a cab, but this one is some bullshit! Why? Because it was my own people who were doing the dirty deed this time. You don't agree with me?? Maybe I'm over reacting?? Listen my anger is a base reaction; meaning, I don't need historical or psychological rhetoric to back me up or justify my feelings. I was insulted and furthermore ashamed by the behavior of two black men who under different circumstances would have probably been friends of mine in a parallel Universe (like Brooklyn or Harlem).
I jest only to alleviate and counteract my pain.
So now it ends (or maybe begins for that matter) with me having to use my powers for evil instead of good. This blog along with a viral e-mail campaign are kindling and I intend to spread the word about Tillman's. I don't care about an apology anymore. I looked for that on Saturday night. I use this vehicle to vent and I've accomplished that BUT if anyone reading this would like to make a comment to Tillman's about their "screening" policies, I've included their contact information below for your convenience....just in case you'd like for them to know your opinion.
astrid@tillmansnyc.com or
lesly@tillmansnyc.com
212.627.8320
Ciao for Now (this time for real)
The Katalist
Q - Can we park on this block after 1(AM)?
A - No. They ticket and tow.
Q - How late is the kitchen open?
A - 2AM, but we're only accepting reservations right now.
Q - Reservations? Er so you mean there is no room at the bar either?
A - No only reservations for the bar too...
Q - So basically your saying we can't get in huh?
A - That's right.
Initially, I wasn't THAT taken aback by the downward spiral of this conversation. I figured the place was packed; unusual yes in these times, but hey you never know. So I tried unsuccessfully to reach my other friend by cell so she wouldn't waste her time searching for a spot but she eventually came strolling up and after hearing that they wouldn't take us, she decided to make a second attempt. At just that same moment, the hostess came out and my friend asked her instead about the availability and contrary to my exchange with the bouncer, she welcomed us all in with a smile.
Hmmmmmm.
So we enter the vestibule; not forgetting to give the bouncer a dirty look as we stepped inside. We walk through the short dark hall and right before we pull back the the heavy drapes to enter the establishment, I started preparing for my push through the crowd only to find...Tada! The place was empty!! Ok, OK they had a few bar stools and tables filled, but in no way filled to capacity. You know what I did? I left it alone...I figured I would make a small complaint to the manager on my way out and chalk the incident up to a misunderstanding or misjudgement on the part of the bouncer.
We ate. We drank. We were merry.
Upon leaving we found the manager. I described what had happened and asked him for an explanation. Here's what he had to say (paraphrased of course):
- We DO only take reservations on Thursday, Friday and Saturdays.
- Management has the right to be selective.
- Well you got in didn't you? (More like a question than an answer, but arrogant nonetheless)
No denial. No apology.
My reaction?? I posed this question to myself:
WWOD? What Would Obama Do? (I borrowed this phrase from and give full credit to my best friend Kemba for this one).
Well I really don't know what he would do but the question at least calmed me down enough to keep it moving. Knowing plenty of bouncers and club owners personally, I pretty much know the rules of the velvet rope; no sneakers, no single men, no drunk people and since none of these applied to us, I could only assume that the folks over at Tillman's seem to have found a new one; The "No damn reason at all except for the bouncers' own prejudice and ignorance" policy.
In this day and age; during a time when most restaurants are going under, Tillman's has taken it upon themselves to hold tight to some randomly subjective velvet rope code that only they can decipher.
If one chooses to spend their money wisely (my thanks to AC for the drinks btw) then, I think we too as patrons should practice a variation on Tillman's policy of: Being Selective
I hope you too will join me in Being Selective by "selecting" some other place and NOT Tillman's when making future plans for a night out in NYC.
Ciao for now...
The Katalist
Epilogue - I just got off the phone with my homegurl that was with me that night (I wanted to fact-check what I described above) and she got me all fired up again about what went down only two nights ago. This is MY blog DAMMIT and if I can't write about what I'm thinkin' then WTF! Now for the real deal about all the thoughts I had regarding this incident:
Tillman's Bar and Lounge is a racist Black-owned establishment...That's right I'm taking it there. And for those of you who don't know me...I'M BLACK! and I looked DAMN GOOD that night as did my two friends. So why in the world did this bouncer screen us; no! a better term would be PROFILE us as a "DO NOT ALLOW"?
Believe it or not, I don't have many personal accounts of being a victim of blatant racial discrimination...knowingly anyway. I got a few - security following me in a department store, poor service in a restaurant, job application rejections and not being able to catch a cab, but this one is some bullshit! Why? Because it was my own people who were doing the dirty deed this time. You don't agree with me?? Maybe I'm over reacting?? Listen my anger is a base reaction; meaning, I don't need historical or psychological rhetoric to back me up or justify my feelings. I was insulted and furthermore ashamed by the behavior of two black men who under different circumstances would have probably been friends of mine in a parallel Universe (like Brooklyn or Harlem).
I jest only to alleviate and counteract my pain.
So now it ends (or maybe begins for that matter) with me having to use my powers for evil instead of good. This blog along with a viral e-mail campaign are kindling and I intend to spread the word about Tillman's. I don't care about an apology anymore. I looked for that on Saturday night. I use this vehicle to vent and I've accomplished that BUT if anyone reading this would like to make a comment to Tillman's about their "screening" policies, I've included their contact information below for your convenience....just in case you'd like for them to know your opinion.
astrid@tillmansnyc.com or
lesly@tillmansnyc.com
212.627.8320
Ciao for Now (this time for real)
The Katalist
Thursday, April 30, 2009
My Love Letter to Trader Joe's - Part 1
When we first met I made the first move. It was spontaneous my part. I had heard so much about you, and finally decided to check you out. Boy wasn't that the start of something new and beautiful.
I had no idea how to use you at first, but by the second round, I started to get a handle on what you could do for me.
There are times when I have nothing left and I look to you to fill me up again.
I know I hafta share you with other women (yes and quite often men too), but I don't mind; just as long as you have what I need when we finally do meet again.
But the other day, I came to you late and you didn't satisfy me. You were almost completely spent. I'll never make that mistake again.
It took me awhile before introducing you to my kids. They only knew of you in passing and very informally. I don't think they understood how I felt until more recently when they too began to reap the benefits of our relationship.
This past Sunday, I wanted them to see how far I would go to see you. We drove for miles and miles and finally made it. They, of course, proved to be selfish as teens sometimes can be, by taking advantage of you behind my back. I had to pay for that later...didn't I.
I had no idea how to use you at first, but by the second round, I started to get a handle on what you could do for me.
There are times when I have nothing left and I look to you to fill me up again.
I know I hafta share you with other women (yes and quite often men too), but I don't mind; just as long as you have what I need when we finally do meet again.
But the other day, I came to you late and you didn't satisfy me. You were almost completely spent. I'll never make that mistake again.
It took me awhile before introducing you to my kids. They only knew of you in passing and very informally. I don't think they understood how I felt until more recently when they too began to reap the benefits of our relationship.
This past Sunday, I wanted them to see how far I would go to see you. We drove for miles and miles and finally made it. They, of course, proved to be selfish as teens sometimes can be, by taking advantage of you behind my back. I had to pay for that later...didn't I.
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