Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My visit from Lena

A little over 25 years ago, I worked my way through high-school and eventually college, as a cashier in a very swanky high-end supermarket on the Upper West Side. Two of the best fringe benefits of the job were 1. Hookin up my homies with free deli and 2. celebrity sightings. The latter was commonplace and no one really phased me that much...until the one day when Lena Horne strolled in.

With the exception of my homemade Jackson 5 autograph book that I crafted when I was around eight, I wasn't really the type to ask for an autograph. But this was LENA! My dad, just like Mr. S-A-N-F-O-R-D (period) above, was a huge Lena fan and so by default, that made me one too. So I said to God when word got to me that she was in the store, "Dear God...If Lena Horne gets on my line, that means you WANT me to ask for her autograph"...and my prayer was answered. Much like Fred in this video, I lost it, but on the inside. My hands and voice probably shook, and I have no idea what I said, but when I snapped out of it and Ms. Horne left the store, I looked down and saw her almost indiscernible, scribbled, pleasantries and alas the signature on a piece of brown paper bag, that read "Lena Horne".

Light, Peace, and Progress to your spirit Lena Calhoun Horne.

P.S. - If you'd like to fast forward, go to 5:12 minutes in for Fred's reaction. Hilarious and classic Fred!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Why every single day is Mother's Day.

I think of my Mother every single day. She died 18 years ago from pancreatic and liver cancer. I was 24 years old. She gave birth to me when she was about 45 years old and I was the last of six children; 11 years between me and her fifth. She was born Emma Middleton and she grew up on a small island off of Charleston, SC. When she came to New York City as a young woman, she changed her name to Emily and eventually she met my father and shortly after, they were married.
I have never been told about her hard life and she didn't reminisce about it, unless you lived it right along with her. Why dwell right?
She lost a young child in a tragic event and she endured...let's just say, indiscretions. And yet, the woman I knew, was the strongest person I have ever known...period. We didn't have heart to heart conversations about men, or sex, or smoking, or drugs, but she did teach me the importance of prayer and the ability of a mother's touch to heal.
Everything that I am; I am because of her. Cliche? Maybe, but true nonetheless.
Her spirit lives with me and my children and her legacy will live with her line forever.
Happy Mother's Day Emma Middleton ibae

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Aunt Ann Anecdote, My Vision Board, and The Laws of Attraction

I've read many words, for many years on the topic: Laws of Attraction. So why is it then, that I have been so stubborn about writing down exactly what I want to attract? It's become very clear to me that the only reason has been fear. I think I've been afraid to really admit or "woman-up" to what I want out of life for fear that an exercise in positive re-enforcement would end in disappointment.
But here's where I contradict myself because I have, in a multitude of small and minute ways, seen The Law work in various stages throughout my life. I was much younger when The Law worked best, I think, because I was less preoccupied with the troubles of the world. I didn't have to write much down because I yearned deeply for that new job that would pay me the big bucks, or that house with a backyard where my kids could play, or the occasional man to satisfy certain...needs.
I got everything I wanted; note the past tense. Of late, however I haven't obtained much of anything; in fact I find myself adrift in some sort of pre-midlife abyss.
Hold on! The tone of this post sounds like it's headed south, but that's purely unintentional.
Time to tell yall an Aunt Ann Anecdote...
My Aunt Ann kept a note taped to the inside of her apartment door that read something like "Turn off Stove" or "Stove Off" (I can't recall the exact prompt), but obviously this was her way of reminding herself to double check the oven before leaving the house. One has to assume that she found this note necessary because there must have been an incident where she did leave the house and accidently left the stove on. You can imagine, however that eventually this posted message became ingrained in her mind every time she stepped foot out the door, and I would suspect that checking the stove became a habit before she even reached the door. And if I should be so inclined to take it even further, she possibly may have even programmed herself to the extent of making sure the stove was turned off immediately after her food preparation PERIOD.
This speaks volumes to me in terms of the power of a Vision Board. Thanks to my recollection of the Aunt Ann story and a recent conversation with my Godmother (who always leads by example), I had the epiphany that I'm old(er) and with that in mind; I need to write my goals down. But not only do I need to write them down, I need to put what I write down, directly up into my grill for me to see everyday as many times as possible. Putting them in a journal was not enough for what's a journal but a private book, filled with intimate thoughts, tucked away like a dirty little secret.
The visuals on my Vision Board are not a secret. Shit, I'm not hiding my goals anymore because frankly when I hide information from others, I tend to instinctively hide said information from my damn self...and what good will that do me.
I started my Vision Board this week. I was going to wait until I could buy a cute little cork board from Staples, but that would have delayed the heck out of things. Instead, I found some scraps of construction paper and started jotting down what I want. I brought the scraps upstairs to the bedroom and started taping them on my wall. Everyday I add something new; like pictures I cut or tear out of magazines or new goal oriented keywords.
When I wake up in the morning I see the goals. When I get dressed, I see the goals. When I get undressed, I see the goals and before I go to bed...well you get the point. What this does for me is what the "Turn off Stove" note did for Aunt Ann. It brings something into focus that demands my attention; my attraction. It yells at me in that Mr T. voice: "WAKE UP FOOL! THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KEEP AT THE TOP OF YOUR MIND!!!"
Soon enough, I will know exactly what is where on this Vision Board and I will see it before I step foot into my bedroom door and then before I walk upstairs and then before I enter the house and then before I turn the corner into my cul de sac. Ultimately the image of the Vision Board will live with me all throughout the day thus making an impression onto the Universe to deliver the goods.
I can't wait!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Full Frontal Nudity of Food

In this year 2010, I will expose myself...
I'm going to let you all read about my struggle with something very close to my heart and stomach...food.
I...love...food..THE END
I've made various attempts to diet throughout my entire life; some successful, some disastrous. I'm sure some of you can relate. So the "gimmick" this year is a non-gimmick. I will continue to eat food...good food...natural, wholesome and minimally processed food. This isn't going to be easy and what's going to make it even harder is that you'll all be watching and that's ok.
Wish me luck!

By the way you can find my new blog at Full Frontal Nudity of Food.