Friday, April 8, 2011

Be Impeccable with your Word..A letter to my daughter Part 1

Dear N,
By the end of the day, both you and I will be guilty of the same unfaithfulness...
We will have both exposed our dirty laundry on the internet for all of our finite extended network to see.
While I have no intention of humiliating you, I did want to use this forum to show and prove that once the word is written, it is permanent once read.  No eraser or delete button, can wipe away the imprint of these symbols that were created by man to express our thoughts and feelings.
In this forum, I have decided to use my words to express my love for you.  I know (because of my age and experience) that arguments like the one we had today, take up such a small percentage of time in our entire lives, that they shouldn't become devastating events that will ruin "us" and what we've built as a unit over the past 17 years.
You're mad at me and hey I get it.  However, remember to always try and be "impeccable with your Word", because whether from mouth or pen, words matter.They can hurt "more than any bruise" as you stated, but they can also manifest into reality.
I have spent most of your life telling you that you can do anything and with those words I had hoped to empower you with the gift of entitlement.  The danger in giving you this gift is that sometimes it comes with an ego that won't allow humility and/or patience to penetrate the soul.
Be careful my very careful.  THIS is the most precarious time in your life.  I will always be here for you, but now it's time for me to act as your guide and not as you.
Peace and Love Always

Monday, April 4, 2011

Today I am Fear-Squashing

Fear-Squashing is the technical term (created by me I think) to describe the process I use to allay my fears...
I read somewhere that fear is actually the mind's defense mechanism to protect us from harm; like sensing the need to run when you see a bear coming atcha.  But this defense mechanism seems to kick in quite frequently when its original purpose becomes obsolete (not alot of bears in these dem parts), thus creating anxiety unnecessarily.

My fear-squashing practice involves the following 4 steps:
  1. Thank the fear for the alert and then politely ask it to leave me alone.
  2. Deep breathing: In through the nose and out through the mouth (with force) several times.  This helps me to expand and contract.  Ever notice how we stop breathing when we're scared or feeling anxious?  Deep breathing also helps me to focus on something.  I pay attention to the breaths.
  3. Stay present: this is a tough one and some view it as denial.  I view it as I can't do anything about what I have foreseen as a problem right at this moment. This is the greatest take-away I retained from reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth.
  4. Focus on the positive; what I want vs. what I don't want.
  5. Public expression as a release (like writing a blog post).
  6. Repeat as needed.
I feel it working now...