Friday, August 28, 2009

My Near-Death Experiences

Yes, I do have a flair for the over-dramatic...but this is not one of those moments. For this blog entry, I chose to provide a list with brief (hmmm..ok ok I'll try) descriptions.

What prompted me to even consider writing this? An episode of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations - the one about Thailand. This dude typically runs into questionable situations but nothing seemed to go right during the taping of this specific show and it made me think about the few times I've run into some sketchy episodes myself. So here are my Top 4 life-threatening stories...

#4 Asthma Attack in the Ghetto - I suffered from this disease as a young child and for as long as I could remember. Back in the day, if you weren't suffering from a gun-shot wound or a heart attack, you had to wait in the emergency room for literally hours (no over dramatization here). My Mom and I would sit and sit and sit until we were called and usually by that time, I was in such bad shape, I had to be admitted. Eventually the protocols changed (unfortunately due to various asthma-related deaths across the city) and I was taken in right away, but I did come pretty close to dying before that.

#3 Jamaica: Exact Location Unknown - Briefly, three young women, no ID, in a stranger's truck with some...strangers, driving up some mountains, destination: some uknown beach. There was a party. We miraculously made it back to the hotel in one piece...unharmed of course, but I think about that time often and how stupid we were...There but for the grace of God.

#2 Childbirth - Fetal distress resulting in an emergency c-section. The baby was absolutely fine but I had complications; infection, high-blood pressure, etc. Hospital stay of two weeks...

#1 Thailand - Ironically I had no reaction to the food, but instead I went into anaphylactic shock by ingesting...Alka-Seltzer. I kinda knew I was allergic to aspirin, but who knew it was the first ingredient in an antacid for God's sake! Long story short, face-swells, eyes closing, throat closing, called the hotel Dr (THANK GOD!). He runs up to the room and knocks on the door. By now, I am unable to speak and crawl to the door, turn the knob and as I attempt to speak, he waves me off; nurse in tow with some sort of contraption. Right away he instructs me to throw up...NO PROBLEM! way ahead of you buddy! Meanwhile he's prepping all sorts of syringes. I have no idea what's in them, and frankly I don't give a damn. Whatever it was, it made me live to see another day...


So that's my top 4 and I hope I never have another one to add to the list...