Sunday, February 16, 2014

Resistance is Futile - Apple's close resemblance to The Borg

My sister's HTC blah blah blah ignorant phone (as opposed to smart phone) died on her again today.  My niece had to group text the immediate family group to let us know; just in case we tried phoning her mom.  Funny story about group sister can't participate in any of it with her stupid phone either; even when it's "working".

I tell you all of this because the only reason she refuses to get an iPhone is because she doesn't like the idea of cell phone companies forcing more advance technology on her in the form of the iPhone.  She'd rather deal with a lousy phone out of principle.  She is resisting and fighting against the machine that of which I sometimes lovingly refer to as my pimp daddy; namely Apple Inc.  

There are people out there who swear by their non-iPhone smartphones, but it is my hypothesis that what they're really trying to do is resist Apple. More power to you people!!!  But I'm sorry, you will lose because Apple is the Borg and just like they used to drone on..."Resistance is Futile"...

OK so a quick primer for all of you people that have NO IDEA what I'm blabbering on about (side-eye to all the non-trekkies for 1. mistaking the Borg for the Klingons [like my daughter just did five minutes ago]  2. making me use the term "Trekkies").  I found a pretty decent description of the Borg who in my opinion were the most formidable antagonists in ALL of the Star Trek franchises (with the exception of Khan Nooien Singh who appeared in three if my memory serves me correctly).  Wikipedia, believe it or not has a great description of The Borg.
I've highlighted in red, the eerie similarities:

"Borg is a collective proper noun for a fictional alien race that appears as recurring antagonists in various incarnations of the Star Trek franchise. The Borg are a collection of species that have been turned into cybernetic organisms functioning as drones of the Collective, or the hive. A pseudo-race, dwelling in the Star Trek universe, the Borg force other species into their collective and connect them to "the hive mind"; the act is called assimilation and entails violence, abductions, and injections of microscopic machines called nanoprobes. The Borg's ultimate goal is "achieving perfection".

The Borg manifest as cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones of multiple species, organized as an interconnected collective, the decisions of which are made by a hive mind, linked by subspace radio. The Borg inhabit a vast region of space in the Delta Quadrant of the galaxy, possessing thousands of vessels. They operate toward the fulfillment of one purpose: to "add the biological and technological distinctiveness of other species to [their] own... [in pursuit of] perfection". The concept of perfection is the unifying idea at the core of the Borg. The pursuit of an unemotional, mechanical perfection is the Borg's only motivation. This is achieved through forced assimilation, a process which takes individuals and technology, enhancing and controlling them.  

In their introduction (TNG's "Q Who"), little information is given about the Borg, their origins or intentions. In nearly all their encounters, they exhibit no desire for negotiation or reason, only assimilation. Exhibiting a rapid adaptability to any situation or threat, the Borg become one of the greatest threats to Starfleet and the Federation. Major characters that have escaped the Collective after having been assimilated include Jean-Luc Picard and Seven of Nine."
Now if this doesn't sound like Apple, then I don't know what does.  My sister and lots of other folks are our current day Jean-Luc Picards (played by one of the sexiest old white bald-headed men out there btw).  GOOD FOR THEM!!  Keep up the good work and Aluta Continua to you all.

And while I'm only partially assimilated (very much like Jean-Luc pictured above), I went shopping for an iPad mini yesterday and as soon as I can learn to work that damn Mac keyboard (apple + shift does what again?), I too will be one with the "hive mind".  And I'll be happy because resistance is hard work and I just want to be perfect...too.

Live long and prosper...

P.S. - Stay tuned for my next techno-conspiratorial entry "Google - Creating a Universe of Dummies"...Just Kidding

1 comment:

locohama said...

Somebody needs a cup of earl gray just too keep her in touch with her humanity. The borg are in pursuit of something that doesn't exist, and it makes them predictable and ultimately defeat-able / defeated.
Damn my iPhone is ringing...great! And I was in the middle of this great game of Ultimate Angry Birds on iPad. Fuck it, I'll call em back on SKYPE from my Mac when I get home...
What was I saying? Oh yeah, resist!